Still Hopeful

I know that it is highly unlikely for us to get the Jan. 18 Embassy date, but we still remain hopeful. We will know tomorrow or Tuesday if we are invited or not. I am learning to not get too worked up over it, but to trust in the Lord to renew my strength. It is not an easy wait, but it is out of our control. All we can do is trust Him to get us through to the next step, and that is bringing her home. I can get all nervous and worked up; I can worry and distressed; I can become consumed with it. But that is not what He wants. He calls me to trust in Him... to put my petitions before Him... to rest in Him. Sometimes our choices are made once and that is all that is needed. But this choice is one that I have to make minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. I admit that I don't always make the choice to trust Him and rest in Him. I get caught up in the moment and forget about God and His role in my life and our baby's life. I take it all personally. I even get mad at God sometimes. I admit that I just want to bring my baby home. I want to get her out of institutionalized care and into the arms of a family that loves every little part of her. It has been soooo long. Maybe God wanted her to experience Ethiopian Christmas (which was Jan. 7, Friday) in her birth country. Maybe they celebrated in a special way that needed to be imprinted into her spirit. I know we will look at Jan. 7 differently from now on. It will be a day focused on the Lord and the land of our daughter's birth. So, we are fervently praying for good news this week... hoping for the next Embassy date, but acknowledging that the Lord is in control and He has a divine plan for our daughter's homecoming.