Waiting for the phone call

Well....my friend Jill just got back from ET and said she may have seen my baby girl! Apparently, there are about 15 tiny baby girls at the orphanage in Awassa. If this is the case, and we are supposedly NEXT to be matched....that means our baby girl is there!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been on edge since receiving this news. I feel like this lady in the picture, staring at the phone, pleading with the phone, praying to God that it rings soon. I jump every time it rings, especially at odd times. However, today is Friday so our agency is closed for the weekend. I'm just glad that we are staying busy. It CAN'T be too much longer. This has been the longest 15 months of my life. Next week I think I am going on a road trip to visit with Jill and meet her beautiful baby boy Aaron.

I had to update our POAs so I sent those out to the Secretary of State yesterday. Hopefully I will get them back early next week. Then I have to send them to the US Secretary of State and to the Ethiopian Embassy which will add another week or so, then I have to forward them on to FTIA. So, all in all it should take about 2 weeks. I just don't want it to hold anything up if we happen to get our referral soon. Andy got his typhoid and second Hep B shot yesterday. All we need now is my final Hep A and his final Hep A & B. Technically we shouldn't get them until November, but if we travel sooner, they will expedite the process for us. We will just wait until we know for sure when we have to travel.

my week

Currently I am sitting in the Philly airport waiting for my flight home. I spent the week at a CHA clinic certifying horseback riding instructors. It was so wonderful spending some time with one of my greatest loves....the horse. We seem to relate. We have an understanding. It's almost as if we communicate with each other without words. I absolutely love this animal. The little girl who dreamed of riding and showing pops her head up and blossoms. I so wish that I could have a horse now and share this experience with my daughter. It is a passion that I really can't explain to people, unless they are horse people! They get it, which is why I thoroughly enjoy my week with horses. However, as I sit in the airport waiting, I am reminded of my current passion...my baby girl in Africa. I imagine myself sitting here waiting for my flight to ET and thinking about how I will feel and what I will see. My friend is currently in ET picking up her baby boy and I am so thrilled for her. She is holding her child and looking into his eyes for the very first time. She is squeezing him tight and caressing his soft brown skin and soft curly hair. I long for that day for myself. I keep telling myself that it is coming, but I have been doubting lately. I am hearing about other families who are receiving referrals for baby girls whose paper work arrived in ET after our paperwork did. What is up with that? I keep telling myself that I will here something this week, but not so much. Today is Saturday again. Maybe next week.

Small World

It is a small world. So often we sing that song of our childhood and don't really think about it. Andy has a co-worker that he rarely talks with but often thinks about. He is from Ethiopia and his family still lives there. Well, recently Andy has been thinking about him a lot and has been wanting to give him a call. Today while he was driving to a meeting, his phone rang...guess who...his acquaintance from ET. He asked about the adoption and how things were going. He just got back from ET a couple of weeks ago (his family still lives in Addis Ababa). He mentioned to Andy that when we do get around to traveling, he could have his family show us around Addis! How cool is that!!! I would love to meet them and talk with them about the history and culture of their beautiful country. OH I CAN'T WAIT TO GO!!!!!

Someday Soon

Nathan's 4th Birthday

As I sit here and meditate on all that has happened in our family this spring I am resting in the fact that God is in control. As I long for that day when the call comes and the person on the other end tells me that our child has been matched with us, I know now that the Lord is allowing it to happen at a time when things in my life slow down a little bit. We have been at the top of our agencies' list since March 11. It has been officially 6 1/2 months since we began our wait...1 year and almost 2 months since we began the process. I knew it would be a long journey, but I honestly never expected it to be THIS long before we were matched with our baby. Yesterday I found out that another family in our agency was matched with their baby boy. I was thrilled for them, but at the same time a HUGE pang of jealousy and almost anger flooded me. I didn't really know how to respond. I felt like screaming...WHY GOD!?!?! I feel so ready, but for some reason she is not ready for us. We hear all of the time how orphanages in Africa are overflowing with children, but for some reason the orphanage we work with hasn't had one baby girl for 2 months. I don't get it. I carried my cell phone everywhere with me for about a month and now I don't even bother with it. So many things have happened in the Ethiopian adoption world. We were hoping to receive our referral before the two trip policy was implemented, but that didn't happen. Now, we have to travel twice...once for the court appearance, and then for the pick up trip. I don't know how I will be able to leave my child once I have held her. What a difficult thing that will be. I guess it will allow me to see my baby sooner. What an experience this is going to be. We had our FTIA play group at our house this weekend and it was so wonderful talking with the ladies. There were 4 of us there...all at different stanges in the adoption. One mom had her baby home. It was so awesome seeing baby "E" home and in the arms of her mommy. The joy and pride on her momma's face was overwhelming. Another mommy is waiting for her embassy appointment to travel to pick up her son "A". She was moved to tears holding baby "E". The longing for her son is almost unbearable. My heart went out to her. She is becoming a dear friend. The other mommy is still in the paperchase phase and will be a first time mom. She was so observant...taking it all in...longing to be a mommy. I am so excited for her to be on this journey to parenthood. Then there was me....waiting to be matched with my little girl. Hoping and praying each day that the phone will ring....saying every Monday that this will be the week we get "the call" only to get to Thursday evening and realize another week has gone by and no phone call. I know this all seems sad and depressing, but sometimes I feel like that. Believe it or not, I have remained very positive. I keep myself fairly busy with the kids and their activities. Preschool is done for the summer, soccer will be finished this week, the kids school will be finished next week, then summer camps and summer activities begin. I look forward to a few lazy days. We put our garden in and are busy doing the yard work so that is quite time consuming. Mowing 5 acres is VERY time consuming. Nathan turned 4 on the 11th of this month and we will be having his party this weekend. It will be fun watching him with all of his little friends. I am blessed beyond measure. I just long for my family to be together. Well...enough for now. I will be on again. It is good for me to get my feelings down.

Soon

We just returned from a wonderful family vacation in Florida. It was so nice spending a few relaxing days with my kids, my hubby, and my parents. We spent some time on the beach, at the pool, hanging out, and much more. It was so refreshing. I needed the getaway. I have been so consumed with our adoption...somewhat out of fear. We just found out that we have to have our referral by April 26 in order to get the paperwork to the courts by May 8th. If we don't, we will have to travel twice. We are willing to do this if we have to, but it will be a huge stretch financially for us and Andy doesn't really have the vacation time to do it. Technically this is possible since it is still only the 8th of April, but our coordinator emailed me and told me that she wasn't aware of any new children that have come in to the orphanage. When I heard this my heart sank and I almost felt like I could throw up. I know that may sound extreme, but I had so hoped for good news. We have been at the top of the list for 4 weeks now and I carry my phone with me everywhere I go. I even take it with me to the bathroom. Each week goes by and I almost find myself depressed about it, but then I realize that God is perfect and His timing is perfect. He will not give us more than we can handle and I know that our little one will be in our arms soon. It is just part of the journey.

Fasting

So...today I am fasting. I am on a Christian yahoo group for families adopting from Ethiopia. Every Wednesday they promote a 24 hour fast. I participated in the fast last week and really saw the Lord work. This week I am fasting and spending time praying for my baby girl. Even though we do not have a referral as of yet, I firmly believe she has been born and is waiting for us. I am praying that the Lord strengthens her and wraps His loving arms around her so that she feels the love of a parent. I am fervently asking the Lord to touch her body and keep her strong during this time in her little life. I cut off any rejection she may have experienced and ask the Lord to shower her with His everlasting love. I pray that we will be matched with her quickly so that the proper care can be given to her. Bless the nannies who care for her and may they treat her as if she were their very own. Thank you Jesus for hearing the cry of my heart and the longing you have placed within my me. I trust You with my baby.

Ok...So it has been awhile...again

Well life has really been crazy around here. I haven't posted in a while because of everything that has happened in the last month and a half. On Sunday, January 31 Andrea got really sick. She was throwing up and complaining of stomach pain. By Monday she had quit throwing up but she started having a temp of 102. We dismissed this because there was so much stomach flu going around that we just assumed this is what was what she had. By Thursday she still had this temp and was still complaining of slight discomfort in her tummy. We called the dr and she said that it was probably viral. By Monday she still had a temp so Andy took her in to get checked out. The dr said she still thought the temp was from a virus and her stomach pain was because of constipation (even though she had gone to the restroom). By Thursday she was still running a temp and had tummy pain when you pressed on it. She would have a temp of 99-100 in the morning and by 4pm she would be up to 102. We called again and the nurse said she could run a fever for up to 2 weeks and we did not need to come in. Friday we headed out to Gatlinburg to meet up with my parents for a weekend getaway. Since the dr wasn't concerned we just kept with our original plans. However, on our way there we called and demanded that some blood work be ordered so that we could get to the bottom of her fever. All weekend she was lethargic and not up to par as her fever ran its usual patter of lowgrade in the morning and getting higher as the day progressed. The dr reluctantly called in the bloodwork tests and as soon as we returned we took her in for the test (Tuesday). The dr didn't even request a follow-up appt. Wednesday morning I was a wreck and insisted that the dr see us that morning. Andy and I loaded her up and headed to the dr hoping that we would get some answers. When we got there some of the blood work had arrived and they showed that she had some inflammation in her body. The dr then said that she sent it to rheumatology to get their input. I kept saying that I thought it was her tummy because she still complained of it hurting in the area of her appendix, but the dr dismissed my concerns (which I had had since the beginning of all of this). She pressed on her tummy and said, "Well, maybe...she does hurt right by where her appendix is located." So, Andy asked if we could get a scan of her abdomen and she finally consented. We went right over to the CT scan place and waited for over 2 hours for the results. Poor Andrea was asleep on the couch in the waiting room. Finally the dr called us and said that they can't find the appendix on the scan but it appears it might be chronic appendicitis. She sent us to Riley Children's Hospital. When we arrived the surgeon compared her CT scan to one she had had last summer and said that it looked as if her appendix had ruptured. They took her back to emergency surgery not knowing what they were getting into because the CT scan showed a mass of inflamed tissue. When they got in there the surgeon found the the appendix had literally exploded and he had to take it out piece by piece. The surgery took 2 hours to complete (normally this type of surgery would have been 30 minutes). He couldn't believe it had been ruptured for so long. She went 17 days with a ruptured appendix. It is a miracle she is alive. She spent 8 days in the hospital. The drs and nurses at Riley were absolutely amazing! The surgeon called her a miracle. Needless to say we no longer go to that pediatrician. We did several interviews with various drs and found one that we feel will fit us well. It was truly a scary experience, but one where we felt God in COMPLETE control. There were people all over the country lifting her up in prayer. Andy and I were peaceful the entire time. We knew that the Lord was keeping her. She is an amazing little girl and now has a testimony of the healing and keeping power of God. So now you can see why I haven't posted in a while. Andrea missed school the entire month of February. She did an amazing job of staying up on her school work. I am so proud of her. Last week she got a clean bill of health from her surgeon and is excited to be able to run again. As for adoption news, we found out that we are next in line to receive our referral. We pray that this will come quickly because there are so many changes taking place in Ethiopia right now.